Words that i hold true as a woman.

 

Photo credit: Etsy.com

Words that I hold true as a woman..

I came across this years ago and it unbelievably explains what i need and long for.. With some modification from its original version, this is still my philosophy and it will always stay the same. When there’s self-awareness, or when you know who and what you are, it is easier to determine what you want in life. Easier to recognize your happiness. Easier to create goals of which you surely will find attainable. You can draw conclusions and decisions with less uncertainty. That is the power of knowing oneself. Once you find or create your identity, no obstacle is ever too formidable to overcome. You'll always believe you're unique, worthy of love, admiration and respect. 

Words that i hold true as a woman, (speaking for myself)…

I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with non-believers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t need a financial burden.

I need a man who is not afraid to be whimsical and to have fun. You can fight boredom and you can age beautifully with it.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need a man who can accept and deal with his flaws and imperfections. Humility is the seed of self-improvement. 

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive really. I think it’s important…he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him…He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection between us, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”

If a man tells me I am asking a lot.

I'd reply, “I’m worth a lot. I know the many things I can offer and the affection and bounties I can share”.

Photo credit: Pinterest.com

Read More

Learning, waiting and loving.

YESTERDAY'S LESSON  

You don’t give up on someone just because it’s complicated. Just because life wont be easy between both of you. Once you've discovered each other's imperfections and weaknesses, you don’t give up just because things aren’t to your liking... that is the biggest lesson I wanted my ex to learn. And a lesson I’ve known for some time but was just too proud to do. And now due to recent events in my life.. It seems that lesson that I so wanted my ex to do in our previous relationship, is the very thing that I am facing right now. My own principles are being put to test. (Photo credit: Pinterest)

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD 

I attended a good friend's wedding the other day. I was the emcee so I had to make the welcome speech about marriage and love and use these sayings that I came across with. " Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice". Love is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other, and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals, they are even better together as a team". The couple waited patiently for years, braved all the storm out in their lives to arrive at that one solemn day in front of friends and family members, before our Creator, to make that everlasting vow to be together in dark and glorious days. As they held hands, lights were dimmed, the spotlight only on them. Everyone was quiet, closed their eyes in prayer. The pastor placed his hand on their hands and said a fervent prayer as the choir sang To Have and To Hold like angels in heaven. From where I was standing, I could clearly see tears of joy softly streaming down the couple’s faces. 


In my entire life, that was the first wedding that made me cry. Why? Was it because i knew of the difficulties that the couple went through before the wedding? Was it the romantic atmosphere? Was I near my period? Haha! No. Perhaps it was realizing at that moment what it meant to wait. My ex and I were impulsive about settling down, we wanted to obtain everything in just a few months. That tore us apart. Perhaps waiting isn't counted in months or years; it’s staying in one place with one person despite the uncertainties that lie ahead. I realized, that some of the best things in life are truly worth waiting and fighting for. Against all odds, you summon all your courage and stand by this one person who magically shares the same feelings with you out of 7 billion people in the world. Even if it doesn’t guarantee a 100% chance of happiness and success, you try anyway out of love for the other. Knowing that you too deserve this chance of happiness. (Photo credit: Google images)

THE PERFECT TWO

Well they’re not really oven mitts,
but i call it my other pair of oven mitt.

 Being with someone is a choice; you don’t make it just because you have responsibilities or other people are obliging you to do so. You don’t stay together just because it’s convenient. I respect those people who stay together because it’s the right thing to do; I mean that’s the same reason why I got married before. It was the right thing to do and we had responsibilities. But look where it got us: a disastrous life, years of unhappiness and a very costly freedom. If one day you have to make a choice about staying with someone… choose him/her because he makes your heart beat fast like no one else can. Because when he's being his plain old self, you blush and act like a schoolgirl despite your age. You're always young at heart. And even in silence, you find comfort and peace with him.  Choose him because your emotions, reason and logic for once are in accord with one another. Choose him because even though you aren’t physically together, you know you breathe the same air. You look up and see that you are both under the same stars. You can never live without this person. Well, you can because you are a complete person already on your own. But with this person, life is more meaningful. And even in the physical absence of this person, no one else can simply fill his shoes. You can go on living, but he will always be your other half, your penguin, your yang, your heart and soul. Such a rare occasion to find someone who shares the same compassion, desire, understanding and values as you. Similar quirks, habits, thoughts, fears, and experiences. Its like finding needle in a haystack. Just when you think it’s impossible, there he magically appears. And even if you’re miles apart, there’s this invisible string that connects you to each other in inexplicable ways. Wouldn’t you take a risk for that?

“To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.” Reasons to have faith, to be happy and to fight for what you both share. When you find that person... make a choice, be strong and stay. I know... because that’s what I’m going to do.  :) (Photo credit: Pinterest)








A nice, light and sweet song :
Title: The Perfect Two
By: Auburn

Read More

Happiness is a state of mind.

Happiness isn’t the absence of tears and pain in one’s life. To say so is hypocrisy and denial of the truth. Happiness begins in knowing what you don’t have, can’t have and will never have. What has began and what has ended. Its facing reality and finding a reason to go on. It’s noticing and appreciating the smell of rain after a prolonged dry spell. The scent of clean linen after a hard chore. Seeing wild flowers in the middle of wilderness. Seeing color when everything else is in black and white. You find beauty in the midst of ugliness and you smile about it.       ~ maggie

Golden shower tree

Read More

Of all the things I’ve done, never have I married the man I love...

And so here I am in a van to Cambodia for my visa exit, listening to mp3s while writing in my ipad. The scenery of green fields, rolling hills, golden shower trees (which is Thailand’s national flower), and several rows of green cabbages made me contemplative and in the mood to write the 2nd entry of  my 30-day blogging challenge. What a pleasant weather, a pleasant day to recall things that SUCK haha! Talk about irony. Describe a day in your life when being single really sucked. (Photo Credit: thesinglewoman.com)

Bridal Shower

Being single has its ups and downs. Some days you'd feel like you're the king of the world. And in some other days you cant help but feel like a pauper, a homeless person, an orphan. These days I admittedly feel like the latter. The other day, I was busy preparing for a coworker's bridal shower. Each of the female guests were assigned a particular time of the day or night. We had to choose an appropriate present that we think the bride-to-be can use at that particular time. One coworker gave a pregnancy kit that the bride will be able to use at 6am. Another coworker gave a lingerie and an after shower cologne called Seduction. Perfect for early or late evenings! Me, I gave a teapot haha! I couldn’t think of any other present that would be useful for a bride at 5pm. Come to think of it, the newly married couple can sit together and share a cup of tea and talk about their day, thanks to an occasion presented by my teapot. The party was super fun, we played several games from Q and A with the bride , to creating bridal gowns out of toilet paper. However one particular game made me feel like a penniless kid. The game was called Never Have I Ever. Each of us would say something we have never done before. For the others who haven’t done the same thing, they wont have to drink from their glass of wine. But if they have, then they’d have that glorious sip. Oh the belly laughs we’ve had when the questions were about sexual positions and escapades. We were all beginning to feel tipsy when my turn came. My turn to honestly say something I’ve never done before. So I said it... I’ve been married, annulled, cohabitated with someone, engaged, in a relationship, out of a relationship.  I’ve been single, been a mom, been happy and in a way successful. I’ve done so many things in my life already but never have I married the man that I love. You see, all of my coworkers are either happily married or attached except for me. They all became suddenly quiet. All they could utter was " It will come, you just wait". 

. (Photo Credit: Etsy)

Imperfectly perfect

After that moment, I began to notice everything around me. Like one of my married coworkers, she doesn’t have all the luxuries in the world, yet she has a very supportive husband and 2 little girls whom she adores more than anything. And another one who’s been in cohabitation with her boyfriend for 10 years now. The rest of the world can criticize them harshly but who cares when they have each other. Then another one who's recently engaged to her Dutch boyfriend. They have a huge age gap, but he treats her like a baby and respects her like a woman. Love, marriage and relationships, they aren’t peachy but I would rather live crappy days with someone who's always supportive and loyal to me. Imagine a bright sunny day, me wearing a nice dress and pink flats or black sexy wedges. My hair neatly curled and tucked close to my pearl earrings. Me walking in a field of daffodils and lavender. When with all misfortune, I step on a dung.. poop! My pretty and dainty pink shoes all filthy. Then someone reaches for my hand and asks me what the problem is.. He would look at my pitiful face, reprimand me for not looking at where I’m walking and eventually say its okay. He and I burst would into laughter and suffer from belly aches later on. I would rather have that. I would rather fight and let all hell lose with someone. He and I can have a free exchange of nasty curse words and later on I would make my puppy face and say I’m sorry. He would say he’s sorry too and we would just embrace each other and order a large box of pizza by phone. We would finish the entire box while watching illegally downloaded movies. I would rather have days of difficulty but constantly work with someone in order to provide a better future for us and our kids. Id rather be in an imperfect world with a person who’s perfect just for me. Than be in a perfect world with no one else but imperfect me. (Photo Credit: AndreeBelle.wordpress.com)

So what sucks then? 

It sucks to have a lovely home, and no one to come home to. It sucks to have a satisfying paycheck, and no one to watch a late night movie with. It sucks to live in a tropical paradise, with no one to walk hand in hand with by the beach. It sucks to have a soft comfortable bed, and not have someone to sleep with. It sucks to wake up on a merry morning with no one asking you " What’s for breakfast?” or just yell at you “Hey you're going to be late for work." it sucks when people around you have someone to fight with. It sucks when your exes have happily moved on already. The one who promised you the moon and the stars suddenly becomes a total stranger. Singlehood sucks when there's no companionship and intimacy. Those things you’d miss. But that’s not my answer really. The worst part of being single is being wiser, stronger and still being single. Experiencing a range of emotions and learning from them, you’re just not sure anymore if life would ever give you the chance to practice and apply your learning. Its like knowing the right answer to a mathematical equation and not being given a chance to solve it. Its like a teen in love with the girl next door and not have the chance to confess or express it. Would I have to take these learning or nuggets of wisdom to my private spot 6 feet under? Lucky me I have a blog! Anyone who’d come across it hopefully will pick up something valuable. Like appreciate and be thankful for that one person who takes your shit and would gladly wear black and white stripes with you in your cell. (Photo Credit:MladjanPajkic)

As for me, no matter how singlehood may suck sometimes.. I wont settle for anything less than I deserve. I’d wait. Mind you, he’s not going to be the most charming, richest, kindest, most intelligent man on earth. That man doesn’t exist. Its more of someone who’d hold my hand tightly before we crazily jump off a cliff. Only my other half can do that. Id live every ghastly, loathsome day of singlehood to wait for my equal. And how would I know he's my equal? Though we crazily and thrillingly jump of the cliff, he'd make sure there’s a giant trampoline waiting for us down there. Or have the paramedics on speed dial. Only a real man would know that ; ) 

Read More