13th of April...

When i look at him and gaze into his eyes, 
he becomes an ocean, deep, wide, strong and gentle. 
I drown in his soul, i get lost in his mind. 
Like the night sky or the galaxy, vast in mystery. 
His very core magnitizes me, yet keeps me afloat. 
And i neither want to be found, nor be let loose. 
I can look at him forever and be perfectly content. 
I want to remain in him. 
Just there inside of him, for its where i feel safest. 
Its where i am my truest me.

- MgE

Photo credit: Pinterest

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A Lover's Confession

" She asked every night for me to reach for the stars. It is all she ever wanted. It is all she needed to feel happy and secured. And so i did, every single night. I picked every single star for her, to make her happy, to make her stay with me. So that i too could be happy. Then i couldn't anymore, pick every single one for her. It made her want leave. She didn't even know that it wasn't the stars i was after. All those didn't really matter much compared to what i've been wanting to offer her. She didn't know that i've been reaching for the moon, so her night wouldn't need a million stars just to be bright. The moon alone would do more for her. That one great, and majestic beauty i would gladly give just to prove that she is my universe. But to give her such, required more effort, time and patience. She couldn't wait any longer. All the while she thought i didn't care. That i didn't listen. The moon was nothing compared to the millions of stars she wanted ". 


" He was for me, the moon in the sky. But he didn't know it. He didn't know that he made the dark night bright and soothing just by being himself. He is far magnificent than the stars. He doesn't have to exist in multitude just to make an impact on anyone. He doesn't have to adorn himself with colorful sparkles just to be beautiful. He already is beautiful. Unlike the stars, he doesn't have to appear every night to be remembered. Even when he is nowhere in sight, the mere thought that he would again be reborn into a full moon after a long absence, would be enough to keep you looking forward. To long and to crave. He reminds me of home. He stirs my heart and soul and puts my mind at ease. He is everything he doesn't even know himself to be. And so i asked of him every night to pick the stars. Every single one i could see. Not because i needed more, or that he wasn't enough, on the contrary. I wanted him to know that everything he wanted and needed , is there within his reach. It was all around and within him, he just had to step a tad higher. Thats how much i believed in him. My faith was strong. But he couldn't see that. He thought i was being discontent. And then he couldn't do it anymore. So i thought i had to leave. And that's what i did ".

Photo credit: Rhiannon Logsdon

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A Girl’s Dream.

Something i wrote 9 months ago…

              To my future:

   

    Someday I know you will come. Someday when I know I’m complete and ready to love you with all my heart, mind and soul. And though my heart has been broken so many times that I feel hollow already, there is a place for you in my heart that will always be yours. Because you are the one for me, for ages and seasons, life has prepared for us to meet and never be separated again.

       

Every woman is little girl. Every little girl wishes for a prince. Life and reality has taught me what kind of prince I want and what is right for me. And this is him…  

   

Someday my prince will come. But he won't ride in a royal carriage or in a fancy car. Instead he will walk outside the rain just to see me. He won't ride on a white horse either; his pure intentions will lead himself to me. He won't protect me with a brilliant, magical sword; his loving arms, stability and fortitude instead will keep me safe and warm. He won't have lots of treasures, gold and precious gems, designer items and pricey collections. He will have lots of stories for us to talk about though. We will have tons of arguments to settle with lessons to learn along the way. Morning and night, we'll always have something to talk about.  

He won't serenade me with love songs, a quartet or organize a symphony for me, he will however laugh at my jokes as I laugh at his. His and my laughter will fill the air. He will make me laugh and our laughter will be the sweetest music one can ever hear on earth. He won't have a huge castle, a pricey apartment in the big city or a mansion with helpers waiting. He will however provide a home of comfort, acceptance and love. A home we will both build with our hands. 

 

 

In our home you won't see expensive sculptures and classic paintings. Instead you will see pictures of happy people, of children, our pets and simple celebrations. You will smell homemade cooking, cookies baked in the oven, dirty diapers and an unbathed dog. We will travel together with the little money we have saved, and savor every scenery and memory.  

Simple imperfections and pleasures in life. And he will neither promise me a lifetime of comfort, nor would he promise me the world. He would however promise to be with me through the good, the bad and the ugly. He will promise to do his best for a promise we have both given to each other. In the end he will be happy he did. That I can also promise him.

 Because a real man knows the value of a woman. Not only when she's at her best but also when she's at her weakest. He knows that a long and lasting relationship is not something you win in the lottery. Its not a wish granted when you toss a coin on a wishing well. It’s something that requires hard work, trust, commitment, responsibility and faith. Chemistry, respect, attraction, a dash of magic and okay maybe even a sprinkle of luck.  

 He will understand that I don't need him to complete myself. And he doesn't need me to complete himself either. But together we would be more than complete... we would be in bliss. That feeling that even though you walk in a path of uncertainty and challenges, at the end of the day you can still look at each other in the eyes and smile and say, “ I love you” and mean every word of it. He would be willing to join and share with me a fuller, healthy, blessed life. We can go anywhere we want to, but together we will always be home. Someday… it’s not too far. 

 " Be true to Love, do not betray her. Then, on the day that the forest of the mind bursts into flames, you will not run.  You will remain silent and still; for this is when Love bears her sweetest fruit - untouched Presence “. 

- Mooji

(Photo Credit: Celine Bonnaud)

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Words that i hold true as a woman.

 

Photo credit: Etsy.com

Words that I hold true as a woman..

I came across this years ago and it unbelievably explains what i need and long for.. With some modification from its original version, this is still my philosophy and it will always stay the same. When there’s self-awareness, or when you know who and what you are, it is easier to determine what you want in life. Easier to recognize your happiness. Easier to create goals of which you surely will find attainable. You can draw conclusions and decisions with less uncertainty. That is the power of knowing oneself. Once you find or create your identity, no obstacle is ever too formidable to overcome. You'll always believe you're unique, worthy of love, admiration and respect. 

Words that i hold true as a woman, (speaking for myself)…

I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with non-believers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t need a financial burden.

I need a man who is not afraid to be whimsical and to have fun. You can fight boredom and you can age beautifully with it.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need a man who can accept and deal with his flaws and imperfections. Humility is the seed of self-improvement. 

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive really. I think it’s important…he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him…He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection between us, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”

If a man tells me I am asking a lot.

I'd reply, “I’m worth a lot. I know the many things I can offer and the affection and bounties I can share”.

Photo credit: Pinterest.com

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Learning, waiting and loving.

YESTERDAY'S LESSON  

You don’t give up on someone just because it’s complicated. Just because life wont be easy between both of you. Once you've discovered each other's imperfections and weaknesses, you don’t give up just because things aren’t to your liking... that is the biggest lesson I wanted my ex to learn. And a lesson I’ve known for some time but was just too proud to do. And now due to recent events in my life.. It seems that lesson that I so wanted my ex to do in our previous relationship, is the very thing that I am facing right now. My own principles are being put to test. (Photo credit: Pinterest)

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD 

I attended a good friend's wedding the other day. I was the emcee so I had to make the welcome speech about marriage and love and use these sayings that I came across with. " Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice". Love is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other, and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals, they are even better together as a team". The couple waited patiently for years, braved all the storm out in their lives to arrive at that one solemn day in front of friends and family members, before our Creator, to make that everlasting vow to be together in dark and glorious days. As they held hands, lights were dimmed, the spotlight only on them. Everyone was quiet, closed their eyes in prayer. The pastor placed his hand on their hands and said a fervent prayer as the choir sang To Have and To Hold like angels in heaven. From where I was standing, I could clearly see tears of joy softly streaming down the couple’s faces. 


In my entire life, that was the first wedding that made me cry. Why? Was it because i knew of the difficulties that the couple went through before the wedding? Was it the romantic atmosphere? Was I near my period? Haha! No. Perhaps it was realizing at that moment what it meant to wait. My ex and I were impulsive about settling down, we wanted to obtain everything in just a few months. That tore us apart. Perhaps waiting isn't counted in months or years; it’s staying in one place with one person despite the uncertainties that lie ahead. I realized, that some of the best things in life are truly worth waiting and fighting for. Against all odds, you summon all your courage and stand by this one person who magically shares the same feelings with you out of 7 billion people in the world. Even if it doesn’t guarantee a 100% chance of happiness and success, you try anyway out of love for the other. Knowing that you too deserve this chance of happiness. (Photo credit: Google images)

THE PERFECT TWO

Well they’re not really oven mitts,
but i call it my other pair of oven mitt.

 Being with someone is a choice; you don’t make it just because you have responsibilities or other people are obliging you to do so. You don’t stay together just because it’s convenient. I respect those people who stay together because it’s the right thing to do; I mean that’s the same reason why I got married before. It was the right thing to do and we had responsibilities. But look where it got us: a disastrous life, years of unhappiness and a very costly freedom. If one day you have to make a choice about staying with someone… choose him/her because he makes your heart beat fast like no one else can. Because when he's being his plain old self, you blush and act like a schoolgirl despite your age. You're always young at heart. And even in silence, you find comfort and peace with him.  Choose him because your emotions, reason and logic for once are in accord with one another. Choose him because even though you aren’t physically together, you know you breathe the same air. You look up and see that you are both under the same stars. You can never live without this person. Well, you can because you are a complete person already on your own. But with this person, life is more meaningful. And even in the physical absence of this person, no one else can simply fill his shoes. You can go on living, but he will always be your other half, your penguin, your yang, your heart and soul. Such a rare occasion to find someone who shares the same compassion, desire, understanding and values as you. Similar quirks, habits, thoughts, fears, and experiences. Its like finding needle in a haystack. Just when you think it’s impossible, there he magically appears. And even if you’re miles apart, there’s this invisible string that connects you to each other in inexplicable ways. Wouldn’t you take a risk for that?

“To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.” Reasons to have faith, to be happy and to fight for what you both share. When you find that person... make a choice, be strong and stay. I know... because that’s what I’m going to do.  :) (Photo credit: Pinterest)








A nice, light and sweet song :
Title: The Perfect Two
By: Auburn

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